Writing

12/21/25

Hi this is a page for some random essays or e-zines or blog posts or whatever

3/29/26

This morning I went on a hike with a friend in the trail by our house. I hadn't been there in quite some time and was surprised the see the swing that had previously been taken down had returned unscathed in a location not far from its original habitat. Today I felt that there is something missing. A looming cloud of either dread, emptiness, or both. Perhaps it is because most of my family is on vacation and here I am at home by choice. I probably shouldn't dwell too long on it, but I do wish I could talk to a certain someone. Today, I will watch the party streamers flutter by the sliding door and drink orange juice on the ground before I shower. Today I realized that I was dissociating more than I said I would but I think it's good that I even noticed it. I was just too lazy to zone back in and ground myself. It takes a lot of work to keep my feet on the ground (both figuratively and literally).

3/28/26

I'm feeling kind of stale this morning, or I guess a better word would be soft and squishy (three words). I'm in for a long, possibly lonely spring break. This morning I felt the urge to rewatch one of those 2020 moodboard things which led to playing the intro to worldstar money on loop for 30 minutes. It's probably not good to wallow in self pity the whole week so I wrote down a list of things I must do: get no more than 9 hours of sleep go outside at least once per day actually read I think the only thing I can do now is let the warmth of my morning coffee bring me peace and romanticize the fuck out of doing nothing. I know my intrusive thoughts are going to flare up as they always do when there is a lack of order in my days, so I hope to withstand them just long enough. I will be brave this time. I won't give in. So, I guess this is my first blog post. I'm digitally writing this for reasons I am too afraid to share lest my thoughts start beating me to death with a stick again. I know it'll be freeing to write it down but that initial barrier between thought and physicality is surprisingly strong. I know not admitting it will only make the thoughts worse,,, yeah that's the end of the sentence. I think I'll go to the library today.